Feliz Navidad

A very merry Christmas to all! This will be a short post since the Colts are on and I don't have much to report...considering everything has been closed the last few days...but I did want to share some of the photos from our orphanage trip on Christmas Eve. The day of the 23rd I cooked for 8 hours to prepare the two turkeys and two hams we took with us. We also dropped off 100 lbs of groceries to them so that they could prepare the traditional Honduran Christmas meal of tamales. I hadn't ever had a tamale and I thought it was delicious! The kids were happy to see us and even sang two Christmas songs for us after they ate. They really enjoyed the stockings and were very grateful. SO...without further ado...here are the photos from the trip. (You can't see my mullet...thank goodness!). Go COLTS!

...Jane...out...

Twinkle toes

So this last weekend was quite an adventure! We got our off-base privilages fully reinstated, so we were able to travel to Tegucigalpa, the country's capital. This is basically the only city in the whole country that has some of the more "American" conveniences of life...such as a mall and a 5-star hotel. This place was one of the most amazing hotels I've ever seen. The service was outstanding and I only had to ride 3 short, nail-biting hours on a bus around dangerous switchbacks, through the mountains, hoping that we wouldn't stall out or get hit by oncoming traffic (they like to travel in both lanes).

...but I got to eat amazing food (sushi for the first time in 4 months!) and go shopping! I also got to lay out by the pool and take a bubble bath and get a mani/pedi! When the lady painting my toes asked me what color of polish I wanted, I responded with, "Por favor, yo quiero dedos de pies de Navidad!" (I want Christmas toes!) So that's just what I got, red toes with white poinsettas and gold and green accents...amazing!

Well, they did such a good job on my toes, I decided to be brave...I saw a girl's hair that was working there and thought it was TOO cute! I asked the lady to cut my hair just like hers. Her hair was up in a pony tail, but it looked darling. What I didn't realize is what it must have looked like when she wore it down...

...so now I have a Hondurian mullet complete with 80's style poofy bangs...not sure what I was thinking...but I know now that I cannot successfully pull off this hairstyle...

...so up it goes for me for the next few months until it grows back. Until then I plan to start watching a lot of nascar so it looks like I meant to do this to my hair...or maybe I'll shave it off and start over...haven't decided. So far I've had one person tell me I look like a 12-yr-old little boy...to which his friend replied, "LITTLE?!" ...so now I'm a fat little boy...awesome...didn't know a mullet could do so much for me...

...I can't promise I'll share any pictures of this haircut with you all...since I still walk by the mirror and am legitimately shocked every time...and bed head....dear Lord....you have no idea what this mop does in the morning...

Tomorrow we are going to feed the children and give them their stockings. Thank you all so much for everything you sent for the kids...even the stuff that didn't make it. I'm still working on a way to get it down here. Standby to standby on that one.

Esther...thank you so much for the blanket! It has actually gotten down into the 50s during the night a few nights here (I can hear you all booing from here...;) but I get chilled.

...Jane's mullet and twinkle toes...out!

Capt Obvious

So...my boss, in all his infinite wisdom, decided to put lil' ol' me in charge of the entire Inspector General's inspection for the entire base here. This is a HUGE responsibility that usually falls to a field grade officer, but I guess I'm just that lucky...

...so last night I was out at the local watering hole when the deputy commander of the base began asking how my inspection preparation was coming along. "It's going really well, Sir!" I replied, and began to tell him about coordinating with this Capt up at SOUTHCOM to get up-to-date checklists and points of contact for all of the areas to be inspected, etc. As I was telling him all this, he started scrunching his eyebrows together in a look of surprise and disbelief. I went on to tell him about calling the Capt directly 4 times the day before to make sure I had the right information...when the deputy commander interrupted saying, "You know he's a Navy Capt, right?" ....at this point I felt my heart drop and my jaw fell open in disbelief. For those who don't understand the implication of what he said, a Capt in the Army or Air Force is an O-3...I am an O-2 so we are only separated by one degree of rank and are both considered Company Grade Officers. This relationship lends itself to certain privileges of informality. A NAVY CAPT on the other hand...is an O-6...the equivalent of a Colonel in the Army or Air Force.

...so wouldn't you know I've been chatting all buddy-buddy with a guy that outranks 95% of the entire Navy like he's my golfing buddy...huh...boy do I feel sheepish...and like a very silly Lt.

I wondered why a secretary asked my name and business and had me on hold for 5 minutes every time I called. No lightbulb came on when that happened 4 times in a row...haha..oh..

So the deputy commander got a good laugh at my expense. Can't wait to send that apology email Monday...

...Capt Jane Obvious...or Oblivious...out...

My new friends

...so I know how mad everyone is about my hiatus from the blog...but my school work has been taking up ALL of my free time and then some! No more will I take two classes online at the same time!

Anyway...I just want to say...GO COLTS!! All of you know how much I love my team and now so does everyone in Honduras! Today I left in the middle of the game so that I could go with some of the other officers to visit the orphanage that we sponsor. It was such a humbling and moving experience. These are some of the most beautiful children I have ever seen and...truthfully...I had been avoiding going because I was afraid I would fall in love with the kids...and I did! They are so grateful and innocent and they think I'm hilarious! Any gringa that shows up decked out in Colts gear head to toe and speaks the worst Spanish ever has to make you laugh I guess! So I have to get back to the old homework, but I just wanted to take the opportunity to share some photos from my visit with all of you.

Also, we are trying to get some items together for them for their Christmas stockings. There are approximately 130 children from 18 months - 18 years old (boys and girls) that live here, so if anyone has good ideas, please respond to this post. I love you all and I hope your Thanksgiving is fantastic. We are confined to the base due to the national election that is going to take place on Sunday and the dangers that may come about as a result. I appreciate your prayers and I will blog again this week after I run the 5k Turkey run tomorrow morning. For those of you who don't know...this run should be a piece of cake for me because I got tricked into running the entire perimeter of the base last week (which is all mud, gravel, and hills) with the other officers. My gazelle-like female friends failed to show, but I managed to finish the 6.75 mile run in 1:13. I have never run more than 4 miles without stopping, so this run was a big accomplishment for me...always trying to see the humor in everything, upon completion of the run I collapsed at the feet of the vice wing commander and croaked, "Sir, the perimeter is secure!" oh he got a kick out of that...;)

So gobble gobble...I hope we don't have to run like turkeys, but it should be fun.

...Jane...out...

Witchdoctor 1-1 you are clear to land!

...so...those of you who know me well can say that I love a good adventure. I also love to make friends with people who have particularly fun jobs.

In the Army they have a ceremonious "tag-in, tag-out" where new people are hailed and those who are departing are fare-welled. A few weeks ago I went to the "tag-in" for one of the blackhawk pilots that just got stationed here. This guy has some great stories since he's been flying for close to 20 years.

Seeing as how I was kind enough to take pictures/videos for him during his ceremony, he promised me a ride in a blackhawk (helicopter). I didn't really expect for that to happen, but it was a nice gesture nonetheless. Well, last Thursday I got a call at about 1200 while I was at chow..."HEY (rotor-wash background noise), CAN YOU BE HERE IN 30 MINUTES?" Why yes, I can...why? "CUZ WE'RE GOING FLYING!!!!" woo hoo!

I happen to be within hearing range of the executive officer who promptly marched over to me and told me he didn't see me on any passenger manifests, etc. so i would NOT be flying if he had anything to say about it...

...well, there are some people in this world who think that they are WAY more important than they actually are...so I listened and politely nodded and smiled as he left. Then I left and went to the flightline. Less than 30 minutes later I sent him a text message: Can you see the flightline from your office? I'm on that Blackhawk that's getting ready to take off! ...hehe...

So I flew for an hour and a half, landing on various mountain tops, doing touch-and-go landings on the flightline, and making emergency landings on the medical helipad. It was SO cool!!! I was keyed into the comms so I could hear all the conversations that were going on and you would not believe some of the things these people talk about when they are flying! Most of the conversation was about the actual flight...like, "approaching the LZ...there is a cow on my LZ...better buzz back by and scare it off so I can actually land on the whole pad!" ...priceless! Then they talked for 20 minutes about everything they miss back in the states. Taco Bell seemed to win out on that one. I was having so much fun listening to them that I didn't realize we were back to base until we had almost landed.

The fun couldn't last though, and as I deboarded I saw that same exec waiting with his arms folded across his chest...looking rather irked and I just smiled and asked, "Can you take a picture of me and Will?" Reluctantly, he did. Then he thought he could lay into the pilot I was flying with...but Will calmly laughed and shook his head and said, "I've been flying helicopters since before you were born, do you really think you can do anything to me?" ha-HA! So...it was a glorious day and I have taken the liberty of sharing some of those moments with you.

...Jane...out...

keys please!!!!

So...funny story...

Thursday night, the night before I left for my vacation to Roatan, me and several of my friends were spending some quality time together talking about what we were going to be doing over the weekend. We were having a great time, especially since our friend, Geoff, the really obnoxious AFN guy, lost a bet (Packers got beat by the Vikings) and he had to wear a dress out to the local watering hole...for the entire night! Too funny! but...I digress...

So at some point during the night, my hooch key fell off my key ring that is attached to my purse. I didn't notice when this happened of course, but when I walked home with my friend Kris, it was obvious that I had no way of getting in to my house. So she and I searched everywhere we had been around my house, which included my neighbor's porch. As I was walking down the steps, she said something from behind me and I turned to look, at which point my foot slipped and I rolled my ankle...and fell right on my face...not pretty.

So as I rolled around on the ground in agony, Kris called some people to help look for the key in some of the other places we had been that night...but to no avail. One of my friends went a got the replica from the housing office and brought it back to try in the door...didn't work. So now I was crippled with pain with nothing but some chicken wire and a mesh screen (what covers my windows) between me and some Tylenol. I didn't feel like waiting any longer, so I broke into my house through the window...unlocked the door and went to sleep.

The next morning, I almost overslept for the 0600 showtime at the bus we were taking to Roatan. As I get up and fall right back down (my ankle is the size of a cantalope) I realize that I am going to have a mobility challenge to overcome. I hopped into the EZgo and high-tailed it to the pick up site. When I got there I unloaded my suitcase and sat it upright on the gravel...then sat on it. Someone brushed against my bum ankle, causing me to instinctively draw it up, putting me off-balance, and I went feet over head backwards...landing on my head AGAIN, this time in front of about 50 people...who gave me a round of applause...hmm.

The weekend passed with no kankle issues, but when I returned, I had to take the key (that didn't work) back to the housing office...take a form to finance...who told me to go to contracting...then back to finance...pay 25$ for a replacement key...and then take the form back to the housing office. Due to my bum ankle, my troop was driving me around and asked, "Why do you have to go to all these places?" I told him it was because I had lost my hooch key. "Was it small and gold and not on a keyring?" he inquired..."Why yes..." I replied as he smiled and starting chuckling..."my friend found a key like that the other night...its at the Rally Point...haha."

I started to feel my blood pressure go up as my eye started twitching...and I calmly walked into the housing office and asked them to wait until I could confirm if the key was mine. "Sure, no problem! We'll go over and see if we can find one that fits your door today...just in case!" Ok.

So I go back to work after wasting $25 dollars and 1.5 hours running around and I finally got to leave at 530...only to go home and find out that my door was locked!!! HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?

Well, when they were finding a key that fit, apparently they politely locked the door behind them...hmmm...DID THEY FORGET WHY THEY WERE THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?

SO...I retrieved the lost key later last night, after breaking into my house, yet again, and as I put it into the lock I just knew...It would open with ease...and then it did...

...now I'm trying to get a refund! I won't hold my breath...

...Jane...out...

Herding Cats...

Sometimes I hate being the responsible one...

So I don't know how much most of you know about the current political situation down here...but suffice to say, that since June we have been on lock-down here on base. This is not a big place and it is easy to go a little stir crazy...especially if you have been here for a while and everyday is like the movie Groundhog Day. Well...since things are starting to get a little better here, off-post privileges have been reinstated, meaning we can now go off-base during the weekends and during hours of darkness...

It's kind of like giving a whole bunch of hungry kitties a large amount of catnip after they have been starving...and then turning them loose...

There are a few night clubs in the town of Comayagua which is where about 8 of my friends wanted to go. Don't get me wrong, I was anxious to get off-base as well, but as the ranking member (troop commander) of my little detachment that was to deploy to the Gota de Limon (Lemon Drop) I was responsible for ensuring their safe return.

This is no easy task when everyone had already had some "catnip" at the pool all day long! But we managed to cram into two tiny taxies and take off down the road to Comayagua.

Remember when I told you all about that "no rules while driving" thing? Well...it's a WHOLE LOT scarier at night! I nearly tore off the door handle as I hung on for dear life! I stopped looking when the speedometer went over 90...and yes, it was MPH. The people I was in the cab with thought that this was great fun and screamed the whole way there...especially when we took the turns on two wheels. They even got his number so they could ride with him again!

After I thankfully exited the cab and stood for a moment on wobbling legs...we made our way about town. It was good fun had by all...a little too much catnip for some, though. That's why herding everyone together to get into two more cabs proved to be such a challenge! I would find 3 people and tell them not to move, then when I returned with the rest of the people, they were gone and we had to split up to find them...argh!

SO...as I was about at the end of my rope, herding all my catnip-loving friends down the stairs to the taxis...I hear the old Sergeant Major pipe up behind me, "Lt, you guys leaving?" Yes..."I'm-a-comin'-wit-ya"....okay, now its 5 in our taxi...that's uncomfortable...especially in a stick-shift...I was afraid the SM was going to break a hip!

Anyway...we were all back on post when it dawned on me that we were one short..."Hey, what's white-shirt-guy's name?" I asked..."Oh no! We left PO Box!" they said...That's this kid's nickname...

Fortunately he found his way back to base on time...so the trip was a success...but I can't say I want to do that again anytime soon!

Before I go I just want to give an awesome shout out to everyone who has sent me packages! I love everything you guys sent and I appreciate it! I'm going to the island of Roatan this weekend for a little scuba diving so I'll be sure to send some souvenirs home soon.

Love ya!

Jane...out...